Friday, March 16, 2007 ' 2:33 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Finally............BROADBAND!!
*Seizes modem ahd hugs it and kisses it tearfully*
I sound like SUCH an addict. No matter, I guess I am.
but I'm just back from a trip to Langkawi and my biggest woe? NO BROADBAND WHEN I NEED TO EMAIL U OF COLORADO!!!
YES. I had to settle with dial up at an outrageous RM 3.00 per HALF HOUR!!!!
OMG. i was so desperate (its about my apps and the closing date is SOON)that I paid the price and guess what? it disconnected on me. I was totally disgusted.
i have loads to blog about!! this is cause I did heaps of thinking during my trip ad a fair amount of day dreaming as well as sleep dreaming. so a quick list of what i plan to blog about...
1) Summary of Langkawi trip. I may just decided to make this a mass email instead. you can suscribe to it if you have NOT visited Langkawi and wanna know if it's worth it! just drop me a message on the taggie if you don't have my email. lol. wonder if i can expect any requests
2) woes/complains/tirades about trip
3) colours of the sea and sky
4) A level results and their effect on me
5) have I changed?
6) Jian Wei's tag
7) reflections on death and the purpose of life
I wanted to do the last one today as I just came across some big big "anomalies" to my theories of human existance and can say now that........... SEXUAL REPRODUCTION ISN'T EVERYTHING. well it almost is but not quite...and its the not quite that makes all the difference
Lastly I've been catching up on my blog reading.... and the one that made the biggest impression today was ls's blog....so a little spill over from my cup of thoughts here..
ls says
"I don't know how life will feel once i realise that there's no value in me anymore except for my name. Lolz... maybe when that day comes, i'll realise what "void" actually means, when someone is totally in peace and there's no more goals and no more lust for anything... Maybe when that day comes, it'll be my last day as well, i don't know..."Given my very melancholy brainwaves I sometimes feel that there is no value in me at all, and even my name will disappear in time, for I am so insignificant. (Yes I still am until i strike TOTO and donate all my money to the CEF aka Christine's Education Fund)
And also, everything, even the little pleasure of munching "telinga" a malay kuih that is more commonly sought in Kedah, loses it's significance when I consider that it only comes and goes, and becomes the past, never to come again except in memory that fades after my death. (Unless you believe in reincarnation and i'm not gonna waste precious reincarnated memories on eating...at least..i hope...)
seeing it just rise and fall is supposed to make me feel at peace but SOMEHOW i get disturbed!! I don't know WHY and thus if I continue that train of thought fear creeps into the emotions and I have to brush it away, for fear is one sensation I still find rather.........distasteful and difficult to view it as a rise and fall.
SO...................
If you are looking for strength.......
All I can say is.......
I drive my own goals
And when resolve fails me...
Thoughts of my family help
When that too fails....
Sometimes, all you need to do is open your heart
and ask for strength
from those who are guiding and prtecting you
and thank them for their guidance and protection
silently in your heart, mind and consciousness
This was one thing that really sustained me through my A levels
For I think...without Divine Intervention and LOTS of Hard Work...
Those 4 A's would NOT have dropped from the sky for me
So to all who have been supporting me! THANK YOU!!
Life is too short to be wasted on depression. Which is why I usually brush it away.
And its 3.31am and I should sleep
~kchan~
to flee into the darkness of sleep
ps: I have too many things to blog about. maybe I hsould coin a new term: the procrastoblogger. One who keeps promising posts but never lives up to the promises. Example? Me
