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Saturday, December 10, 2011 ' 2:36 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Floss 10.12.11

Couch-sharing time with Floss, October 2011

Floss- Sayang dog - Manja dog - Naughty!! - Crazy dog - Silly dog - Greedy dog - keh po chee (busy body) !! - Spoilt dog, so spoilt! - Monkey! - yummy!!! - vitamin!! - DOG!!!! -

Nicknames and endearments to accompany snuggle-sessions, play, annoy-the-owner, feed-me piteous looks, Oii-gimme-food!-shoves, curl-up-on-rugs-and-sofas and of course, welcome-home-excitement. Missing the welcome home sessions will hit the hardest. How much more awesome can it be to walk up to your front door after a long day and a long drive and see one little dog expectantly waiting, ears perked up and tail wagging at 3 million-wags-per-hour?

"It doesn't matter if you've had a bad day or are in a terrible mood - I'm so happy to see you! Hold on a sec, gotta inspect the car tyres for delicious smells. Ok done, we can go in, open the door for me please! Oh hurry up! Good good, kitchen is in order. Now scratch my back for me please. Yeap I am your sayang dog! Omigosh-here-is-Hillary-sitting-herself-at-the-dining-table-with-food!!!! *abandons xtine, new target, hillary* GIMMEEEEEEEEEE...pleeeaaaaaaase!"

That's Floss the Min Pin, a dog whose bark is 10x her size....but doesn't realize it. So cute!

There are so many things I adore about my doggie

1. the way she sleeps on my tummy.
Saturday afternoons on the couch together is OUR bonding time. It reached the point where xtine's lap/tummy almost equalled couch, and that was fine by me. I suspect it is because I am the closest proxy for a hot water bottle on a day when Floss' ears are cold. Either that or I was utterly deluded and what actually transpired was my "victory" for couch space.

2. how her ears lie FLAT when she is happy

3. slow tail-wag as she snuggles and gets her back scratched

4. how she curls up on the piano cover next to me when I play the piano

5. inspections inspections inspections - as if the car and house are not in order until she checks them

6. her cute way of trotting briskly (such beautiful action)

7. spinning around (a la chasing her own tail) when I open the door

8. how she falls asleep when I scratch her head and ears

9. play biting and chasing around the house (ears flat of course)

10. the resigned look "fineeeee but don't take too long" during bath time

11. how she stole the durian from Hillary's hand

12. how I have to feed her a few pieces of dog food FROM MY HAND before she starts eating proper

13. the snuff of disapproval when she smells other dogs' scents on me or my clothes

14. how she jumps onto the couch every chance she gets and curls up into a ball

15. how she behaves on car rides

16. how she licks me affectionately during massage-and-scratch sessions

17. the way she crosses her legs in a lady like manner when sitting down

18. Floss and Hillary playing kissing and stick-my-tongue-out-repeatedly-and-rapidly

19. how she adores xin hua

20. delegation of affection between Hillary and Xtine

21. how she pointedly ignored me when annoyed with me (such as after bath time)

22. the silkiness of her fur post-bath time

23. politely taking the biscuit in my hand and trotting off to nibble it somewhere

24. un-yappiness and un-lickiness of her character (lady like and proper)

and on and on and on


I will never forget our last night sharing the couch. Hopefully I kept you warmer and the water and glucose helped to ease your suffering a little. I was touched when you came to sit nearby when I played the piano for a short while (before I realized you felt simply terrible) I wish I could have spent the last day with you too. A little glucose at 7am in the morning and settling you on the couch is all I could do. I'm sure you did your best post-op like the determined thing that you are. No worries about us, we love you so much and did all we could (I'm sure you know). Please move on without any regret or attachments, we will miss you but we will be fine.

After all, we've had Glorious times my darling doggie. I know sometimes we smacked you (for running out, you're so tiny anything wouldn't see you!) and scolded you and didn't entertain your begging (but otherwise the vet wouldn't have said you looked fabulous for your age, or that you were a very healthy dog!) and sometimes did things you hated (like the soaking out of fleas and flea picking from your paws), but I think we've had so much fun together. Thanks for all the love from your doggie heart, which is way bigger than your bark.


Just buried Floss right outside the house. 10 years, and we have had her for 6.5 of them. Thank you everyone for all the love and puppy prayers and support.

Sunday, April 04, 2010 ' 11:47 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

"And why not death rather than living torment?
To die is to be banish'd from myself;
And Silvia is myself: banish'd from her
Is self from self: a deadly banishment!
*What light is light, if Silvia be not seen?
*What joy is joy, if Silvia be not by?
Unless it be to think that she is by
And feed upon the shadow of perfection
Except I be by Silvia in the night,
There is no music in the nightingale;
Unless I look on Silvia in the day,
There is no day for me to look upon;
She is my essence, and I leave to be,
If I be not by her fair influence
Foster'd, illumined, cherish'd, kept alive.
I fly not death, to fly his deadly doom:
Tarry I here, I but attend on death:
But, fly I hence, I fly away from life."

Shakespeare's "The Two Gentlemen of Verona" (III.i.170-187)

Friday, July 17, 2009 ' 1:53 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Music is in the ear of the composer

Today has been a good day ^^

Presentation for summer internship went well today! Yay to us XD

But what made me happier is my piano lesson went well ^^
Despite me giving up Estampe for the meantime (I definitely will play Pagodes one day!!!)

In fact both Melissa and me had great lessons today (Happy 21st Melissa ^^)

Today's lesson, paycheck arrival and next sem's fees arrival prompted me to consider why I don't just save the money I'm paying for lessons this summer. (Especially since I complain about the lack of it so much, haha)

After all I know quite a few people who have given up lessons altogether and play just for their own sakes

(Sadly I'm not so good that I can play pieces well without the advice of a teacher)

The thoughts came to me as I was listening to David talk to me about the pieces I played today, Barber's Pas de deux, a Scarlatti sonata and Debussy's Arabesque I. I've performed the Pas de deux in the end of term recital last semester, and the Scarlatti and Debussy are pieces I've played for quite a while.

For the Barber, I thought I had it down pretty well, but wanted to polish it a little more for possibly adding it to my senior recital (hopefully nothing happens to prevent that). When I played it in my first lesson with David, he said it was good etc etc and told me how to improve it. Today was our 4th lesson, and I played it for him for the first time since we went over it last, and well..... I got quite an unexpected reaction. Apparently it was much much much better. hahaha (yay!) And according to David I show an understanding of the structure of the piece that did not come across the first time I played it for him. (more yays) and that's the part when you KNOW it is worth taking lessons, when something that you take pride in knowing you play well becomes even better... (And with just one lesson's work on it) Not only for me, but for Melissa!

Besides, there are concepts outside the piano keys and away from your fingers that if you're prodded towards understanding, contribute sooo much to your performance, perception and skills. Jill did a lot of this with me, and David is adding to what she's already taught me.

Then of course, there is the opportunity of learning from a very good performance pianist who is also very good at teaching. (not to mention the summer when your fingers are not cold and you have more time for practicing)

the happiness and pleasure that I get from these lessons, plus my improvement is totally worth all I'm investing in it now. After all, what use is there in just playing the piece through? It may sound pretty but pretty without the understanding is just a facade, like calling something beautiful without grasping the notion of 'beauty'.

I also think the last sentence would have failed in a GP essay. hahaha. look out for more essays from now on, Xtine needs to practice for GMAT.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 ' 10:40 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Now I remember why I blogged so much in the past...

After spewing half my guts out on a comment about the Government's decision to revert the teaching of Maths and Science back to BM I suddenly remembered why I used to blog a lot more when I was younger...

Well, besides the fact that I WAS younger and under the impression that the whole world wanted to know about my life (not to mention WILLING to let the whole world know as well)

After all, with such an amazing outflow of amazing policies from such an amazing government why on EARTH would I not need a blog to vent all my horror, anger, disappointment *insert all other negative adjectives necessary* ...

Sigh. Sometimes I wonder if it is a waste of time to bother concerning myself over this issues. I just spent an hour on that commentary. I could be doing GMAT questions and puzzling over my own future....

And while I would love to come back and contribute to my country etc etc it's a bit of a bother when the politicians ruling do everything possible to er, prevent your contributions from making much of a difference. Especially if your contributions end with your demise since the generations after you aren't er, well equipped shall we say...

C'mon, at least appeal to the selfish side of my human nature to induce me to come back. I miss the food and my friends and family you know.

Dear readers thanks for reading my blog still ^^

Does anyone know any good MSc Finance programs to recommend to me? Oh affordable please. I don't have much moolah to channel into grad school. Either that or a job please :D

Can't have just a progressive government and a backwards people, and can't have it vice versa either. No wonder it's so hard for countries to progress...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009 ' 1:13 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
after about 3 months....

Yes I finally blog again. hahaha. if you want to blame anything for my disappearance from the blogging world please blame my heavy course load last sem XD

Summer is here and my sis is back home (and not blogging) As for me I am still stuck in the USA, working for my econ professor at min wage but a better min wage than back home I realize *cough cough*

After a hectic semester its nice to be able to get enough sleep, but thanks to my job I've had to walk around the city a lot in the past month and hence (to my horror) have gotten a LITTLE tan. Hopefully no freckles, I don't want freckles as much as my mum doesn't want me to have freckles, hahaha. Unfortunately my angmor colleagues did get sunburnt though! *oh yea its good to be asian?*

Summer is pretty nice and quiet here, but as usual Xtine is pretty busy (though she might not prefer to be so busy) Besides work I'm working on my music, prepping for senior recital! Also preparing for GMAT and reading up about French pianism (for interests' sake) I should be practicing learning the violin but usually very tired by the end of the day.

Other than that also have to cook! sigh cook. SIGH. Cooking is very mah fan when you have a short lunch break and when you're tired in the evening.

but yes, life is uneventful here and I miss you guys where ever you are!

lol sz i hope this satisfies you. other people, thank you for commenting!!! i still keep up with your blogs, just lazy to keep up with mine. sorry sorry XDXD


Wednesday, March 18, 2009 ' 10:21 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted


今天天氣好暖,我真開心! 但是今天是 St. Patrick's Day, 所以你知道美國的上大學的人都會。。。



Thanks to the gorgeous weather I think everyone is in a really good mood though! I went to the post office on a sunny but cold Wednesday last week and realized that Beloit people are actually really nice! Firstly I walked with Melissa (my room mate) to Walgreens to get passport pictures taken. After I took it for the first time, the lady came to find me and told me she needed to retake it. Okay, so I retook it, and then... something happened and in the picture I look like.....an Ayumi Hamasaki wannabe. =x
Then I headed to get my hair trimmed (ends were getting kind of ugly) because I had a free haircut. XDXD. And the lady was SO nice, and made some time for me and pointed me to the post office etc. Eep. Wow people are so nice. After that in the post office I met another bunch of really nice people! Wah. I do appreciate them.

But today the weather is gorgeous!
Enjoy People, it (SAdly) won't last.

I have too much homework for just after Spring break TAT

Wednesday, March 04, 2009 ' 2:19 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

Just a few days ago I was thinking how I should appreciate people in my life more. For example I have a very nice roommate, (yes I have finally moved on from the angst of the past I hope) and a very nice 'laopo' (even though she loves my bed a bit too much).

This sentence must be so scary! HAHAHA. No dear reader I am not bi or lesbian in anyway. 'Laopo' is just an affectionate term. She's a Hakka girl who speaks Cantonese and understands my need for guangdong-tang. Plus she thinks my cooking is super awesome, and better than her mom's. HAHAHA.

But basically people in my life are actually really nice to me. This includes you dear reader =) So I apologise for not keeping better contact! Lots of work lah. I also have a Quant exam tomorrow and kind-of-feel-I-know-what-I-need-to-know-for-it but I think I will panic in a little while when I look at regression analysis. But its really just piah how to do it I think. Will do a few more past exams and see. sigh.

And thanks babe for your amazing announcement >.> OF course you are the last to know, see what happened when you found out?! get back to me about the cbox faster so that I can leave indignant comments on your website.


Wednesday, February 25, 2009 ' 10:56 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Aku memang tak faham org di sini

Rupa-rupanya hari ini adalah hari Mardi Gras, atau hari Selasa Gemuk! Dan kita boleh lihat pelajar pelajar Amerika Syarikat yang hebat dan tidak boleh difahami telah membawa minuman R-OH ke dalam kelas. Dan rice krispies. Dan dua orang baru bawa dua kotak pizza ke dalam kelas.

SAYA MEMANG TAK FAHAM ORANG DI SINI!!!!! lagipun orang orang ini juga MEMBAZIR MASA (saya dah tak tahan sejak kelas kedua) dan asyik cakcap pasal makanan la, apa yang dia suka la, apa yang dia tak suka la, MENYAMPUK BETUL

perempuan perempuan dari sororoti yang betul betul miang dan bising dan suka ackap pasal wayang yang dia suka tak suka bleeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhh sepak karang baru tahu. oh tambahan pula suara diaorang memang..........tak merdu didengar.

akhirnya juga sampai masa rehat. TAK TAHAN ORANG ORANG INI!!!!

sebentar kemudian...

saya memang menghormati televisyen sekarang, kerana pasang sahaja kotak hitam ini dan mulut mulut murai ini terus DIAM. televisyen kau lah penyelamat aku!

sekararang saya rasa kelas ini memang membazir masa sahaja. bukan kerana gurunya tetapi kerana org yang ambil kelas ini memang.......tidak menghormati kelas ini sebagai kelas tetapi masa untuk membuli guru.

我真不明白美国学生!!! 今天我的night class的美国同学带了啤酒上课。我囧!!!



Wednesday, February 18, 2009 ' 7:05 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
POST NO. 500

Haha, the moment is not that momentous.

I'm fully immersed in classes now, lots and lots and LOTS of homework. So to scare the world, I'm taking:

Quantitative Methods for Economics
Statistics II
Classical and Romantic music
Music Theory 1
Introduction to Performing Arts
Piano Ensemble (1/4)
Piano (1/4)
Violin (1/4)

YES! I am FINALLY learning the violin, dream since so-long-ago-I-can't-remember-when. I really like it so far, but its tiring the arm muscles. Hahaha, one step closer to the dream, I'm glad I can take the opportunity.

Piano: Thanks to hanren, I discovered Samuel Barber. Love my teacher and love playing the piano!

For the Piano Ensemble, we started learning Carmen (Variations) for 2 piano 4 hands, and it is scary. Hope something good will happen, it is gorgeous but when you play only your part all you want to do is go: WHAT WEIRD CHORDS WHAT AM I PLAYING??

All this is when I'm not sick. I fell sick last week so I totally have been hiding in my room, sleeping and trying to function to do certain stuff i HAVE to do or my life is screwed. I'm trying to get better ASAP! Mateo it is ALL your fault!! you infected ALL of us!!

Music classes are good, I discovered that I have perfect pitch!!! (woots) but this is a problem when learning intervals.

Core classes for my future career are okay, yesterday I got my first A+ for the Quant memo (this is eventful because he rarely gives out A+) and I was soooo happy!! Next time I'm going to chiong Quant memo like nuts, I want a STRING of A+s.

And I adore/worship my Macroeconomics professor. 'Nuff said.

Last Friday was Econ Day, hosted by the Econ dept. We went to Chicago and did a lot of networking and traveling around. I also heard an amazing lecture by Robert deYoung of Uni of Kansas, a Beloit alum! Perhaps IF I have time I shall summarize it here soon.

Oh and belated V-day wishes to everyone!

I think this semester is going well for me so far. I just need summer plans. Internship!! Anyone have anywhere to recommend? I wouldn't mind flying back for a decent internship! DECENT = at least able to cover cost of air ticket. Cause I'm totally broke this year.

To those who are studying, study hard. To those who are working, work hard. To those who are unemployed, I hope you're enjoying it. Take advantage of everything life hands to you.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009 ' 3:14 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
first day of classes Spring 08

Yea, and my first class starts at 2pm.....about 45 mins to go!

i was reading the Star online and the mStar, and good golly *insert other expressions of horror*!!!

First there is of course the touch of nostalgia for home, which is why I like to read the Star online occasionally. however, after reading the malay article 'PAS bantah konsert Rhianna 13 Februari' (http://www1.mstar.com.my/cerita.asp?file=/2009/1/21/mstar_berita/20090120192637&sec=mstar_berita) i must say that those feelings turned into disgust. ridiculous ridiculous!!!

First of all the most ridiculous is to drag in the Israel-Palestine issue into this!! Not respecting 'rakyat Palestin'?? not only should you give up american products, why don't you just throw away all your medications, your gadgets, your computers and your software? I'm sure if you dig hard enough you can find SOME trace or link of the USA to it. Why don't you demand the return of all the overseas malaysian scholars in the states (mostly muslim i might add) since by sending them here YOU are contributing to the US economy? Speaking of the US economy oh, so holding this concert is an indirect cash flow of $$$ to the USA-lah. I see how it is. how about the cash flow that we the Malaysians get? do you really think that Islamic-themed concerts will have an equally wide reach to that of this concert? Bodoh!

and even though I don't fully agree with the attacks of Israel on Palestine, it is sad that Malaysians see only one side of the story. The muslim side of course. I think it would be too difficult to request that a donkey wearing blinkers take note of anything else other than the path ahead of him. better save my breath to warm my face (it is horrendously cold here)

Then after that mild irritation I clicked on citizen blog: criminal from another country (http://blog.thestar.com.my/permalink.asp?id=20736) after skimming through it i just wanted to die of embarrassment. I'm glad to know that malaysians are able to raise their issues, but the grammar of the article is astoundingly terrible!! Which makes me wonder WHY DOES THE STAR ONLINE DO SOME EDITING ON THIS. I suppose editing will take away some of the originality of content and meaning in the message, but seriously, if i were an American browsing through, I'd have such a bad impression of Malaysians! (not that many Americans even know where malaysia is but still...) it just tears at the heartstrings, and words cannot express all the indignant, irritated and regret (and more) that bubbles to the surface when I contemplate it.

yes my writing is not that amazing and i have a new penchance for ignoring apostrophe marks, but it is an online newspaper ><.... ouch where is the world of print and e-print to go to....


Sunday, January 18, 2009 ' 3:20 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

You are The Empress

Beauty, happiness, pleasure, success, luxury, dissipation.

The Empress is associated with Venus, the feminine planet, so it represents,
beauty, charm, pleasure, luxury, and delight. You may be good at home
decorating, art or anything to do with making things beautiful.

The Empress is a creator, be it creation of life, of romance, of art or business. While the Magician is the primal spark, the idea made real, and the High Priestess is the one who gives the idea a form, the Empress is the womb where it gestates and grows till it is ready to be born. This is why her symbol is Venus, goddess of beautiful things as well as love. Even so, the Empress is more Demeter, goddess of abundance, then sensual Venus. She is the giver of Earthly gifts, yet at the same time, she can, in anger withhold, as Demeter did when her daughter, Persephone, was kidnapped. In fury and grief, she kept the Earth barren till her child was returned to her.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Friday, January 16, 2009 ' 6:01 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted


first of all dear readers, it is -26C outside. *cries*
its ok I will survive.

secondly, piano competition i intended to enter is cancelled. sigh. it's okay!! more time to learn new songs then XD debussy debussy~~~

thirdly, I'm still on holiday. school starts next week, can't wait to see some people again. of course i'm going to miss the good eating that we've been having this hols.

Speaking of good eating i made vietnamese beef noodles!! from scratch practically, even made the spice pouch myself!! XDXD yea it was a proud moment.... i<3 vietnamese beef noodles!!

have been working in the lib and its about time to close soon.

signing off~


Sunday, January 04, 2009 ' 10:52 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
kena tag....

Nana: I TAG YOU!
Xtine: You think what, Pokemon-ah "I CHOOSE YOU!!!"

Whoever who gets tagged has to write 10 things about the person who tagged him/her:

1. She's my younger sister

2. she loves red, green, and black

3. She has a thing for stars, especially on anklets and bracelets and god-knows what else

4. she likes very peppery bak-kee

5. she likes to eat.... a lot...

6. her theme song amongst family members is 'katak pisang'

7. she is in love with married men. such as david beckham

8. She always has no money (like me)

9. people sometimes confused her with Hillary, especially when they were small

10. She may not need to gan fei anymore. (lol)

The person who got tagged has to write 10 things about himself/herself

1. I'm Xtine

2. My beloved lifestyle this holidays is eat, sleep, do nothing. (and cook and read and play piano)

3. I'm situated in Wisconsin, and it is bloody cold here. Why did I come here again??

4. I still don't have a driver's license.

5. I really really really want a car.

6. I have silver hairs, and angmors think that is awesome

7. I'm a member of 14o5 AJC... lolx and I miss you ppl!!!!! <3

8. I came to USA and started to learn Chinese here.

9. I don't really blog often

10. My new year's resolution is to sleep everyday before midnight and wake up every morning by 645am.

Choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names: (unlike Elena I DO know more than 10 people...wakaka)

1. Babe
2. Drew
3. Eebong
4. Jian Wei
5. Yaya
6. Rara
7. Howard
8. hanren1
9. hanren2
10. jap/sumo

but I dont know whether anyone will respond. rofl


Wednesday, December 31, 2008 ' 3:08 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Happy 2009!

Happy 2009 World!! ^^

May it be a peaceful, good year with increasing stability for all of us. And good grades of course ^^

Vril and I made dinner yesterday! We had a LOT of food! I made chicken and mushroom and chicken and cauliflower, and lotus root soup! And Avril made rendang and ma bo tofu. It was so good <3 and we had the hainanese chicken rice kind of rice so life was REALLY good for the both of us yesterday.

Today we had burmese curry!! yum. rice and curry eaten with hands = heaven.

And on Sunday we went to Mitsuwa!!! Hearts Jap food and Jap grocery store!!!!

Hehe, happy new year everyone again! May your lives be filled with happiness and contentment in the year to come


note: I am reading a really good book now, called the Jew in the Lotus =) recommended!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008 ' 10:45 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
holiday so far...

Well, there is a LOT of snow. lolx. At least one foot and we're getting a few more inches today (how exciting) the nice thing when it snows though, is that is usually isn't so cold and there aren't such fierce winds that try to rip your nose and cheeks off.

I'm currently working in the library, and the flakes are really big and fluffy and white - the prettiest kind of snow. I bet if we wanted we could make a snow man too.

So what have I been up to? 19 and 18Dec- seeing off people, packing up, preparing for vril's visit. 20th: Avril arrives~!! (Avril is my classmate from singapore) and about an hour after she arrived (revelations in between) we walked to cub foods (in some horrendous cold) to get groceries! Cooked tom yam soup with beehoon for dinner, which we ate with what I guess I'll call the 'dinner gang' made up of Daiichiro, Isamu, Min, Lin, Phyo, Lawrence when he is around and me and Vril.

Oooh looks like i might have to shelve soon.

21st Dec: really cold. wind chills of -25F, Avril and I decide not to go out for the next 48 hours....but some crazy nut called Lawrence walked to Cub Foods to get groceries for his turn to cook dinner, shanghai style 'spring rolls'....wah! Oh and Vril and I had Kimchee noodles with egg and spinach for lunch, but Xtine overcooked the noodles (embarassed)

22nd Dec: Still really cold. We kind of lay around inside and did nothing. HAHAHAHAHA. eat, sleep, do nothing is a GREAT lifestyle!! Too lazy to cook meat, so made beans-and-egg omelet, stir fry spinach, yesterdays left overs and rice. Had some conversation with Isamu in the midst of eating.

23rd Dec: One of the warmer days of the week. So lets walk to downtown!!! Wah it was snowing when we walked down and back, so Xtine and Vril kept getting attacked by snowflakes!! Which made Vril walk into a tree....or bush rather. Disconcerting for everyone, including the snowflakes. This time we had French toast for lunch with oranges and milk! Ahhhh first time Xtine makes French toast in USA, I'm pretty pleased with myself! For dinner we went to Mexican restaurant with everyone but Isamu who was entertaining some bonny lasses by cooking for them, had FISH that was decently prepared (for once) and etc. lol only Lin SUCCESSFULLY finished almost everything he had, servings were so huge!! After that came back and webcam with Mateo and watched 200 pound beauty, promptly got one of the songs irreversibly stuck in my brain. more webcam with Mateo and then off to sleep....830am shift in the morning....

today: working in lib, making soup, love my supervisors!! (one of them just gave me a thumbprint cookie!!! <3 Deb!!!)

That's it for update people, if you want pics check facebook, Avril has uploaded some there, I'm still refraining from uploading pics here =)

~Happy Xmas!
<3 Xtine

Friday, December 19, 2008 ' 10:11 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted


its still snowing...

and it started about 10 hours ago....

' 12:49 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
My magnum opus 2008

in retrospect....the rant below is really a one sided view. tapi ia adalah perasaan aku yang telah deselamkan di air yang dalam...

joan yes my BM dieded liaoz loooong ago XD

here is my baby!!

I call it: of Mice and woMen

Characters will be introduced in a character page that i have yet to draw. sorry!! any questions regarding characters just ask me XD. please say you'll be able to pick me out at least though. hehe.


Thursday, December 18, 2008 ' 1:07 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
hols + rant

Hello everybody!
Its finally the winter holidays!!

exams are over, yay!
oh reply to zeehao: er, cause that means I will have 8am class everyday I don't want to deal with that. lol.

and there is going to be a winter storm tomorrow. up to one foot of snow!! T_T I R depressed

other than that I also have to move to another dorm where all the other ppl will be staying. i think that will be fun at least.

sekarang masa untuk saya rant....

terpaksa juga guna bahasa melayu kerana takut org lain di sini terbaca....
tetapi perihatin! Ini adalah sebahagian diri saya yang agak buruk, kalau anda masih ingin kekalkan memori Xtine yang lebih indah lebih baik jangan baca...

Sebenarnya sepanjang semester ini toleransi aku terhadap rakan sebilik aku semakin kecil. saya ingat dia adalah seorang orang cina, dan oleh itu kita akan mempunyai cara memikir yang sama. rupanya tidak, dan pada pendapat aku dan orang cina lain, rakan sebilik aku ini memang kurang abiliti dan disiplin. MALANGNYA SAYA MEMANG TAK TAHAN ORANG MACAM INI!!!

bukannya dia tidak mementingkan masa seperti aku, tapi aku rasa dia terlalu bergantung pada org lain!! CIK ADIK BOLEH TAK JANGAN HARAPKAN SAYA AKAN SELALU MEMBANTU KAMU, PANGGIL AWAK BANGUN TIDUR DAN SETERUSNYA? jadi TA untuk mencari gaji pun nak cari orang lain untuk membantu anda membuat kerjanya...

sebagai seorg yg lebih kurang agak mementingkan disiplin diri dan tanggungjawab, saya berasa dia agak tidak bertanggungjawab, terutamanya terhadap dirinya sendiri. oleh sebab dia selalu membikin saya naik angin di dalam hati, saya mengurangkan masa saya berada di bilik. lagipun dia sangat suka memeluk la, memegang tangan la, SAYA TAK SUKA AAAAA. aku rasa pelik betul, juga rasa saya lebih baik tingagal dalam sebilik sahaja, tak mahu rakan sebilik lagi.

lain kali tak boleh mempunyai harapan yang terlalu tinggi. hanya rakan rakan di 'kampungku' yang memahami dan mempunyai cara memikir yang sama.

rindu kamu semua!


Friday, December 05, 2008 ' 12:38 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

WHY DID I NOT GET INTO MONEY AND BANKING?!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!?????????


Wednesday, December 03, 2008 ' 5:09 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

Yes, I think i can *worship* my 20th century music professor. He's so nice!!!!

My math presentation is over!! wheeeee!! No more math brains. Time to correct music paper and study for econ and accounting.

Other than that, there is lots of snow out.


Life is slowly improving.


Sunday, November 30, 2008 ' 5:57 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Short Reflection on Music

I've been listening to lots of classical music lately (yes hearts) and just about 30 minutes ago was listening to a recording of Fur Elise by an unknown pianist. Just last week I had complained about how I dislike this piece, it is overplayed horrendously as we know and many many people know it (and play it).

But after listening to the recording, I was struck by the difference in what I myself had played and what others had played compared to what this unknown pianist had played. I'm playing a Beethoven sonata at the moment myself and just realised how in Fur Elise, the pianist brought out so many delicate intricacies of Beethoven! You can really hear the character of Beethoven's music!


I even feel like playing Fur Elise again just to try to see how I could bring out the intricacies myself, instead of just going bang bang bang rush rush rush THERE YOU HAVE IT!

Been going thought a lot of new thought processes for music thanks to my several music classes lately. I do so love music.

And some quick updates on life:

Studies wise is okay. Lots of papers due soon so lots of work to do. So sad!

Thanksgiving activity has been drool over cute Moldovan singers with Lisa and Mateo. Super fun past time. Also here I want to recommend a song, Despre Tine Cant (Partea 2), which I have been nuts over for the past few days! Sung by Dan Balan for his album Crazy Loop, it is a romanian ballad and I HEARTS IT. haha!! Also watched the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice with Kochakian, Lisa, Mateo, Megan and Yitian for 2 nights. wah. Yitian and Kochakian didn't watch the second DVD with us but we all found it superbly entertaining. Other than that I have been working 5 hours in the library for today and yesterday... money~~$$$ come to meeee~~~~ Oh and I played croquet this morning!! Haha after I noted the GORGEOUS weather (think about it, sunny and not too cold) I really wanted to pkay croquet but only Mateo would play with me (Sorry Kochakian, we really thought you would prefer to sleep!). Nonetheless my skills have improved greatly compared to the first time when we played til night. haha! And it was morning exercise too! haha!

Oh lots of lovely classical music this weekend too. muwahahaha.

Food wise is NOT OKAY. More than enough said

And back to paper!! T_T


Thursday, November 06, 2008 ' 1:35 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
On elections and classes

Yay elections are over.

But my commentary on the days beforehand. Where numerous students kept knocking annoyingly on people's doors trying to persuade them to vote for Obama. Er, hello, some people are international and cannot vote okay? Stop disturbing them. Please have some sense. Secondly I don't want your freaking posters or stickers or anything else that I simply see is a symbol of utter waste and degradation of the environment. Yes, campaigning is good but not so good if you have to oversell our product and make people like me, disgusted. Also if it just ends up in the trash can, IT IS A BIG WASTE.

Secondly US election process must be one of the most annoying in the world. Inefficient. I don't see why the world's most advanced nation (or one of) cannot do a simple thing like organize electronic voting. Isn't it that humans are more prone to error than computers?! Case in point, my vote (I went for early voting) slip was labeled wrongly and the poor volunteer there had to call me up to ask me for the correct information. Needless to say, the election is run by volunteers. Most of whom I saw were senior citizens. Now let's think, what are the chances of error?

Gah. Consider that I spent 2 hours standing in 2 different lines to cast a vote that probably did not matter because WISCONSIN IS NOT A SWING STATE and is largely democratic. For the record, I voted for whoever history shows as the better man.

As for classes. I will take 6 classes next year. Whee.


Friday, October 24, 2008 ' 2:58 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
Fall in Full Blast

Ah Fall

Walking around as the wind tosses the red, brown, yellow and purple leaves into a swirling dance and gently caresses my cheek before whirling away......


Walking around as the wind whistles around, stealing the warmth of your face and hands and sucking the moisture from your eyes, numbing your nose and tumbling your hair into a haystack

THAT'S the fall I'm experiencing now.


On another hand my life has been filled with music music and more music and it is so beautiful I don't want to let it go.

I want to take up a second instrument!

I want to devote 3 hours a day to perfecting my pieces!


I have to study and work and do homework and maintain my grades.

Alas!! I have no money to pick up a second instrument anyway. Time can always be made but not money.

Time to dig out the good old down jacket.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008 ' 10:04 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

Fall break is over....

and it was smashing (for me)

Midterm exams are over
And I did surprisingly ok. Actually got an A for Stats, so happy! Only irksome thing, missed an A for Microecon by 1% *Scream* but still higher than the mean grade.

Piano quartet performance is over
Just happened 30 mins ago. hahahaha. and my video is not very good and my hads were sweaty and I slipped on the keys but at least my hands weren't cold.

the only thing, according to my 20th Century music prof, that we need to improve is our bowing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Study hard~


Wednesday, September 24, 2008 ' 10:41 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

Last week was heaven in terms of receiving piano scores from interlibrary loan....








other than that, I have a lot of work and I am tired T_T

Why can't I do a music major and just do music all day long?

Oh on Friday I got back my last 2 response papers for 20th Century music class and...
BOTH A's!And on my paper on a Bartok article my prof even gave me "Great Job"


That made me very happy happy happy ^^

On sat went to Chinatown with 4 other girls. Bought lots of goodies including (FINALLY) AN ELECTRIC WATER BOILER THAT KEEPS IT WARM JUST LIKE MINE BACK HOME.


sadly skype is not working, I just want to tell my mummy of my beautiful new possession that I will be keeping for a LOOOONG time! muahahha its so useful in the mornings now!!!

time to work!



Friday, September 12, 2008 ' 2:17 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
hoework torture

To be precise, I go through this every Friday

When I write my response paper (apologies to my professor)


but for my first 2 attempts so far I have A's to show the fruits of my effort~ I think it's really worth it, especially the understanding that I get? But every week I just torture myself and think I have done my worst..... ;_; too bad that the end result is so good.

And somehow the thinking and mulling and walking around and finally resorting to blogging process may hopefully work.

bartok bartok bartok bartok

I'm sorry but I do love Debussy more

my head is swimming with nationalistic ideas and the history of Hungary now.

@_@ kchan

Friday, August 22, 2008 ' 8:28 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
another update (finally)

Okay, finally an update?

Hahaha, Sorry people, not really in a mood to blog nowadays.

So another summer (with 3 credits yay!) has passed (3 credits = one easy term btw) and I am still in Beloit. After working all summer, I officially say that I HATE TAXES. really, screw up all my calculations on how much lovely cash I could have *tears*

My sister also visited me for a week, it was nice, we had yummy things to eat and a trip to chicago and madison respectively.

Other than that, since the end of CLS, I have successfully moved into my room (thanks to my sister it was a less painful process), developed some arm and leg muscles frommy job shifting books in the library and had a very relaxing time with my new room mate, melissa! She's a girl from China and is really fun and really cute.

Oh and I also helped to pick up new international students from the airport. It was an interesting experience, too bad i had no one to pick ME up. hahahaha.

otherwise, nothing much in my life, except I HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF. i really have to get rid of some of it if possible. laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

don't really want summer to end, I don't want winter to come....

so school starts next tuesday and I will be back to busy busy busy. TA-ing a class and probably tutoring as a volunteer activity and lots of lovely music lessons and work *sigh* hopefully my brain has recovered from its 2 month marathon of CLS after 2 lovely weeks of rest!

okay that's all for now.

oh yes, the person who keeps bugging me to blog, my kaidi is in USA!

congratulations you FINALLY made it here.



Thursday, July 31, 2008 ' 7:36 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

Ya man I'm so proud of myself!!

translation by me:

作詞:王力宏/崔惟楷作曲:王力宏編曲:王力宏 Lyrics: Wang Lee Hom/ Cui Wei-kai composer: Wang Lee Hom arranger: Wang Lee Hom

#Baby 我愛你 快樂永遠來得及
Baby I love you let’s achieve happiness forever
So come on now And 放開你的心
So come on now and release your heart
Baby 我愛你 快樂永遠來得及
Baby I love you let’s achieve happiness forever
So come on now Just 放開你的心 #
So come on now, Just release your heart

Why hold suspicion so tightly
love is not selfish
although some unavoidable bad memories
cause love to lose its’ attraction
and become uninteresting
life still goes on
it doesn’t matter whether you laugh or cry
don’t stop your curiosity
actually, life is full of pleasant surprises

*Yeah yeah 跟規則道別
Yeah yeah say goodbye to the rules
Yeah yeah 憑我的感覺
Yeah yeah just follow my feelings
Yeah yeah 跟過去道別
Yeah yeah as for setbacks in the past
just bid farewell to them
and follow my feelings

Repeat # Repeat #

Oh Oh 笑或哭別在乎
Don’t care about laughing or crying
Oh Oh 贏或輸別在乎
Don’t care about winning or losing

Sometimes one needs to unravel oneself
A tie tied too tightly makes it hard to breathe
Repetitiously, every day is so uniform
After all, you’re an independent individual
or are you a machine?
Don’t forget each person has the authority
To choose if his mood is high or low
所以 快跳出井底
so quickly jump out of the bottom of the well
and anticipate the brilliance of tomorrow


Oh yeah 我真的愛你 I really love you

Monday, July 07, 2008 ' 8:42 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted
crazy 4th of July

4th of July weekend!!

Sadly I had to work in a dead empty lib on Thurs but (hey at least I got paid) no one was on campus anyway, most of the people I hang out with went somewhere.

On Friday I did absolutely nothing. it was marvellous. the only thing I did was cook soup. ABC soup with macaroni! yummy. then Lisa (Who is half thai) made RICE SOAKED IN COCONUT MILK WITH MANGO. OMG yummmmmmy.... it is so fun to meet someone who knows exactly where you come from and what you eat and all the unavailable things in the USA.....

Saturday was a crazy Chicago day. when we got out of the train station, i noticed the line out of the MEN'S room came out all the way to the hall!! (needless to say for the ladies, it was worse) so there were lots of people EVERYWHERE, even Chinatown!! sian. but i got to eat malaysian food so happy la. managed to buy various groceries too.

Sunday (today) I made LOTUS ROOT SOUP. I AM GREAT. MUAHAHAHAH other than that I had to work. thats all for my update, back to work!!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008 ' 4:14 AM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

to my kaidi:

YES my blog is dead. this is because on weekdays I have class from 830am to 430pm and I then work from 5pm to 10pm. As for Sunday I work 1pm to 5pm too. the rest of the time is for homework study and cooking.

of course my blog is dead.

X_X <-- dead

Thursday, June 12, 2008 ' 6:38 PM Y
& your soul is all i ever wanted

last 20 hours at home

maybe I should not sleep? hahahaha. stupid cheap airlines and their minimal baggage policies!!! ARGH

Cest MoiY

'I dreamt that I was composing a symphony....I had gone to my table to begin writing it down when I suddenly reflected: "If I write this part I shall let myself be carried on to write the rest. The natural tendency of my mind to expand the material is sure to make it very long...When the symphony is finished I shall be weak enough to allow my copyist to copy it out, and thus immediately incur a debt of 1,000 or 1,200 francs. Once the parts are copied I shall be harassed by the temptation to have the work performed; I shall give a concert in which, as is sure to be the case in these days, the receipts will barely cover half the expenses; I shall lose what I have not got; I shall want the necessaries of life for my poor invalid, and shall have no money for either myself or for my son's keep on board ship!"...I threw down my pen saying, "Bah! I shall have forgotten the symphony tomorrow." But the following night the obstinate symphony again presented itself...'
- Berlioz writing about a nightmare he had during the 1850s

job >3
grand piano <3


(where to get one)

Me@Multiply. Pics!
Alan Yap
Jian Wei
Nana Banana
Pei Ying
Seoh Thin

Designer: xo
Image: shinylibra94